Empty Fears

DISCLAIMER: This is not a happy-go-lucky blog. In fact, it's somewhat depressing but full of honesty and it ends in hope.

I am a fearful person...most of us are trained to be that way from birth. Don't cross the street, it's dangerous; we're in a war, we could be attacked at any time. We learn to fear things outside of our control first and then start attributing the same emotions toward the things we can change. At least that's the case with me.

I let fear cripple me sometimes...in fact, I do a lot of times. My fears like to thrive on my rejections and they feast on that source of pain until they reach bone and really start doing some damage.

I feel rejected all the time. Girls, you aren't the only ones haha. I don't know anyone who hasn't felt rejected at one point or another, but I choose to carry mine with me (a choice I seem to make subconsciously and can't consciously get rid of). When I was very young, I was given up for adoption and throughout my childhood it never seemed to matter to me...I never knew my birth parents or really cared for that matter. In adulthood though, I've felt as if those years of indifference have caught up to me and left me broken and full of rejection fears.

Mentally, I know that this fear is illogical and downright stupid but emotionally it feels like the most sane thought in the world.

And that's where I'm at now; a little bit stuck with no idea how to move forward, and a lot bit scared that I would fail no matter which way I choose to go.

But as promised, there's a happy ending. I don't want to be in fear all the time. I want to face myself head on and get over it. I want to be the girl in the movie that doesn't have a care in the world...the sun always shines, my hair's always shiny, and my husband buys me all the Hello Kitty stuff I want (ok maybe I added that last one and it's way over-exaggerated but I've made my point).

So, here's where you come in. I can't do this alone and neither can you. If you're in a similar situation and you're sick and tired of being a slave in your own body, come on an adventure with me. Let's see what happens when we face one fear a day, just one. I want to hear your progress and your stories just as much as I want to share mine. Please, please, PLEASE comment me, tweet me (@sarafaithphotog), whatever you have to do. I'm inspired. Hopefully I can be an inspiration to you.

My inspiration today: "True Love" by Angels & Airwaves

Happy fear-facing!
Sara